POP CULTURE PUNDIT - The Latest Gossip and News About Your Favorite Celebs

Zac Efron needs a haircut

Ok, be honest with me, is my site becoming overly obsessed with 'the gays'? I mean, it seems my last few hundred posts have been nothing less then 'who is gay' and 'who looks the gayest' - I'm starting to feel like I'm overcompensating here.

If I call Zac Efron gay, does that mean I'm secretly hiding something....something fruity? And if that's the case, will the culmination of all of the world's women's cries be deafening once they find out?

We'll see. Until then, Zac Efron is gay. No doubt in my mind. Need proof, just look at his hair; it's Jennifer Aniston from 1994. I'm hearing the Friends song in my head right now and it makes me hate him....of course, I hate him more for making High School Music 18: Back to School. How do I know? My timemachine told me so. Beep-beep.

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Even the gays date girls

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon were photographed holding hands as they got off of a plane yesterday reports OK! Magazine. The magazine also reports they were kissing while leaving the plane.

Wow. Movie bombs = set up the stars, no matter how gay he or she may be. This seems to be the formula now days in Hollywood. But this about it, if they did this in the 1970s Fonzie would never would of have to jump the shark for ratings, he could have just started banging Joanie. Genius! I should get a 3 picture deal for that!

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New Spice Girls music

If you like crap, you're in luck....the new Spice Girls single is here! Listen to it now. I'll be honest, I've never wanted to be deaf more then I wanted to now.

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Mike Myers is gay

When not killing men with her good looks and saving the world from fat chicks, Pop Culture Pundit reader Magda dropped me a pretty sweet tip regarding Mike Myers when she saw him in Toronto recently. Seems he's gayer then the Gay Train traveling through Gay Town on Gay Day. Gay. Really, gay. Gay-gay.

First let's go over what we know: Myers is overly sensitive (watch any interview), constantly speaks about his love for his father and his quest to please him even in death (Freud has a lot to say about that), had a long marriage with no kids where he seemed more into being bff's with his mother in law then his wife, idolizes hockey players to a very odd degree for a man his age, has a gay brother and has a memberships to the 'Anal Beads of the Month Club' (ok, so I made that last one up).

Now here's what I've just found out: Scarborough native Myers was just in Toronto to see his beloved Leafs play last week, but that's not all he did. Seems our reader spotted Myers on what can only be described as a 'man-date' - well, who knows what it was, but when you're sitting in the corner of a dark restaurant with another man, stretching your arms across the table to touch hands and staring into his eyes - what else would you call it? Man-on-man love?

Thanks for the tip Magda! Mike is not going to be able to keep this under wraps very much longer. Well, unless of course he has some super gay-shielding power, which then would make it quite easy for him to hide it. In theory. But in theory Hilary Clinton is a woman. In theory.

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Heidi Montag is weird

Here's a pic of Heidi Montag shooting a video for her recent single due to be released in Malibu. I guess if the single is called 'Get on your hands and knees make slutty moo-cow faces?' it makes a whole lot of sense- because otherwise the video is going to be way off. Kinda like the time I remade "Cop Killer" with my Christian rock band.


Britney's online dating now

Just when she can't get any lower Britney has looked to that cruel, cruel bitch "The Internet" to help her find love. Seriously, I'm going out on a limb here and say that Britney Spears wrote this ad on the craigslist personals. Read it and try to tell me I'm wrong:

Hi guys. I've been feeling a little lonely recently and need a man to remind me I'm beautiful again. I'm not a BBW, but I have curves in all the right places ;) I've come across hard times where people judge me rather than understand I'm going through a very hard time in my life right now.

I need the stabilizing presence of a man again. I was once wildly in love, but that turned sour as our personalities clashed with each other.
I'm really looking for a man that has a good head on his shoulders, a sense of humor and likes to go out. Let's just say I'm far more than stable financially, so I wouldn't need a man to support me.

I just need a kind man who won't judge me...Just a man that wants to love me and my two little boys.
Then there some nights we should go out! Drive nice cars, go to clubs and restaurants. Live the good life. It's been so hard to find a man recently. Outside of being busy with my work, scrutiny and pressure have been getting to me. I need a man to help me get back on track.

This is classic, really. She's got curves in all the right places? Yea, so does Jabba the Hut. And two boys? Does she mean Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders - because based on how she's been looking those are the only two boys in her life. Gross. If anyone out there can get a date with Britney through this ad, let me know!

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Derek Jeter spreads the love

Derek Jeter, the New York Yankees shortstop who has given herpes to such Hollywood actresses as Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Biel has been scoring left and right at Miami's Shore Club. Our friends at Page Six report that:

Our spy in the lobby of the Shore Club in Miami early Sunday morning spotted "two scantily clad women screaming at the front desk because they had spent the night at Jeter's penthouse and were then charged for parking." "The girls were wearing what looked like the same clothes they wore the night before - a tight cocktail dress and a mini-skirt. They were making a huge scene because they were asked to pay for parking. "Obviously, they'd spent the night there," giggled the onlooker, who noted that one of the overnight guests was screaming into the phone, "After last night, he'd better fucking take care of it!" After a bit of insistence, "they eventually left happy. I assume he paid for their parking after all," said our snitch."

Derek is making a big deal about paying for their parking? I certainly hope he paid for it, I mean TWO women at once? If a woman doesn't scream "don't touch me creep!!" I automatically ask her to marry me and give her my PIN number for all my bank cards. But that's just me, you know, the lonely guy who spend his Friday nights redecorating his underwear drawer in his wizard costume. Shazzam!

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Jamie Presley's topless past

Just when I thought organizing beauty pageants for my cats was the hottest thing ever, I come across these. Seems a few years back Jamie Presley was looking for a little cash and did some topless photos that have just been purchased by Ultra Magazine (and I'm sure that's short for Ultra Classy or Ultra Artsy) and are on display.

Check out the topless NSFW images HERE and HERE et ICI.

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Jenna Jameson is also fug

What is Jenna doing? When you look like a tanned version of Anne Frank after a week of SlimFast you need to stay indoors, not show off your emancipated ass on the runway. Really, it's making me full-out gay.

Not only that, but she's looking terrified in this pic as well - I'm thinking those drugs are starting to get to her, it's like she's thinking "Oh God! Oh God! It's only a matter or time before the Kool-Aid man jumps through the wall and kills us all!! Oh God!!" But let's be honest, who DOESN'T think that?

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Hayden Panettiere is fugly

Hayden really needs a new pair of sunglasses, honestly, she's like 2 steps away from turning into Fido Dido. I'm not quite sure what she's trying to do, maybe looking to become the next big trend setter? You know, kinda like Tiffany and legwarmers, The Hoff and hairy chests and me with both sexual organs. All trends people, all trends.

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Eva Mendes in Maxim

I've never been one to "ogle hot chicks" or "read magazine" or even "pay my child support on time" but after seeing half-naked pics of Eva Mendes in the new Maxim Magazine, I think I've been doing it wrong all these years. Yep, that's right...off to community college, there's a photography course calling my name! That is, as long as it doesn't interfere with my probationary hearings....or pottery course....

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Keeping Up With The Kardashians is filthy

Not that I watched any of this show, but I did find this clip pretty much sums up what I already thought - the Kardashians are simply a family of strippers and whores. I'll admit, this clip initially made me more moist then a delicious Joe Louis snack cake (and THAT'S moist). But then I saw the part where their 9 year old sister rocks the stripper pole better then most 'adult entertainers' - and the fact that the older Kardashians seem to condone it made it even more f'ed up.

Of course any time you wonder how a family could be this morally degenerate remember: their dad defended O.J. Which in my books is a step up from making out with Hitler's corpse.

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Britney Spears shows us her world

It seems like with Britney's custody battle , drug tests and general melt-down she just hasn't had the time to do what she's really good at...showing us her crotch. I mean, I hate to criticize her for this, I mean, I don't wear panties either - but that's because I'm a man and men wear underoos. Underoos and Aqua Velva. Look out ladies!

Click here for the NSFW crotch shots of Brit Brit yesterday exiting her car sans-panties. Enjoy.

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The Hoff is hospitalized

David Hasselhoff has had yet another relapse in his battle with alcoholism. Yesterday he was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Hospital here he was treated for alcohol poisoning. David is currently in a custody battle with his ex, Pamela Bach. TMZ reports:

No word on how the latest lapse will affect custody. A judge awarded physical custody of the kids to Hoff, but we're told for the last five weeks they've been living pretty much full-time with David's ex, Pamela Bach, while he was in Europe shooting "Anaconda 3." We're told he had "infrequent contact" with his daughters, something Hoff's people dispute.

Wow. Shooting Anaconda 3 would probably be enough for me to be driven to alcohol poisoning too. That and the urge to gouge out my own eye balls and feed them to my agent for casting me in a movie that pretty much a step down from a Full House reunion special.

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Kim Kardashian is chesty

As much as I don't have any clue what this chick does, this one thing is for sure - she doesn't beat around the bush. Kim Kardashian simply shows up at events declaring 'I have big boobs' and needs no further explanation. Why even pretend you have a career? Just stick with what you know.

Fun fact: Kardashain is Iranian for 'rough sex with goats,' just like my name is Quebecois for 'desperate.'

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Britney Spears' uncensored Gimme More video

Take out the eye-bleach, the uncensored version of Britney Spears' "Gimme More" video is now online and features scenes left out of the final cut, including multiple shots of Brit topless wearing nothing but (bleh!!) pasties.

The quality is pretty weak, but I'm not one to complain. I'd pretty much rather meet George Michael in park after dark then watch another second of this video. Yep, seeing Britney topless or potentially exposing yourself to AIDS? It's a toss-up at best. Enjoy.

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Charlize Theron is the sexiest woman

A list that includes Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Biel has a new member as Charlize Theron has been named this year's "Sexiest Woman in the World" by Esquire Magazine.

I really don't know about this one - I mean, she seems too prudish. Sex with Charlize would be like going to the doctor, cold, uncomfortable and probably incredibly awkward when she asks about your sexual history. Does that even make sense? Turn to page 72 if the answer is yes.

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Britney abused K-Fed

According to Life & Style Magazine, Britney Spears beat Kevin Federline "several times during their marriage." which has resulted in K-Fed asking the judge to order her not to use corporal punishment on Sean and Jayden. A source from Britney's camp denies the rumor, saying:

"This is just another attempt to make Britney look like a bad mom."

First of all well already know Britney is a bad mom - but what's with K-Fed admitting to getting beat up by his wife? Was he wearing a bra and panties at the time? I think I'd rather admit to getting gang-banged in prison then my wife beating me. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating...let's just say I'd rather admit to buying leg-warmers from Walmart...which is pretty much a step away from a prison gang-bang. In theory.

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Posh Spice is a robot

I'm hoping this is nothing more then a bizarre fashion shoot and not Victoria Beckham's newest look. I mean, I'm sure it takes an army of super-robots to keep her husband David Beckham in the closet, but this is barely what I had in mind.

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Sienna Miller is now naked

Dying for any type of attention, Sienna Miller has leaked full-frontal naked pictures from her new movie Hippie Hippie Shake (not to be confused with Icky Wood's dance for the Chicago Bears).

At the rate these celebrity nude pictures have been making the rounds over the last few weeks I'm assuming that it's only a matter of time before the rumoured Golden Girls orgy tape from the 80's will be released. Was Bea Arthur a man? How strong is your stomach? Will you still like women after viewing? All these questions will be answered in time my friend. In time.

Check out the full NSFW pictures here, here and here.

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Nude celebrity madness

Alright, I go away for a week with no internet and two huge developments occur in the world of naked celebrities. First of all, a taxi driver in France found Ashton Kutcher's cell phone in his cab chuck-full of nude pictures of Demi Moore and demands a million dollars or he'll release them online. Read more.

Secondly, Britney Spears returned to her home this week to find that thieves had raided her $6 million property. It believed that the burglars made off with Britney's collection of raunchy homemade sex tapes as well as a selection of the singer's sexy (ahem) photographs. Also, some "uniforms" Britney allegedly wears for kinky sex games were taken as well. Read more here.

This is nuts. I mean, Ashton having pics of a 44 year-old woman on his phone? That's like getting caught looking at your mom naked. That's disgusting! And Britney...what else is there to say? I'm not surprised at all - I'm just curious, are the "uniforms" just the wardrobe from her early videos? Or is this freaky stuff like dressing up like the love child of Lizzie McGuire and rabid monkey...trust me, it's hot - and well worth the $30 rental fee. Lizzie want banana!!

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Pop Culture Pundit: back and sexier then ever

I'm back from Spain and ready to start posting again. Not much has changed for me - other then being a bit more tanned, the growth of a quasi-euro beard and a suitcase full of Europe's latest wines and fashions. Will I be posting pictures of my travels? Who knows - this isn't Perez, I don't need the attention, but let's just wait and see. If you bastards are lucky...lucky indeed.

And to my dear reader Carolyn: oh, the pictures are both a threat AND a promise. I promise they'll threaten all relationships as my Hasselhoff-esq good looks and Mr. Olympia-caliber physique which will result in mass break-ups. As once my images is out in the open women would do what's possible...nay, ANYTHING for the chance to accompany me on my next European adventure. Yep, I'm that lovely

I'm done ranting, on to the next story.

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