Exclusive! Proof that Suri Cruise Exists!
Our friends at TMZ have come up with the birth certificate for Suri Cruise, see it here. Now this proves she's for real even though no one (including the Cruises' best friends) has seen the baby. Right?
My honest opinion is that there is no baby and this birth certificate is as faked as Tom's sexual orientation. It'll be easier to get a picture of a Yeti before you'll see anything of Suri. First of all they don't use Tom Cruise's real name in this document, not to mention that Katie Holmes' legal name is not Kate.
But I think the biggest give-away is that the witness that signed the certificate is 'Maverick' and the place of birth is 'highway to the dangerzone'. Now I'm no lawyer, or "social inclined" but that just doesn't seem 'legal'. Because if this was a real birth certificate we all know that the witness who would be signing this would be Xenu or Tom's boyfriend.
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How long do you think Tom and Katie's publicists will let this go on before Suri dies of some tragic and mysterious illness that only imaginary babies are able to contract? I'm giving it a month, max.
Or maybe she is real, but was just born with some hideous birth defect, like an ear growing out of her forehead. Maybe right now, some guilt-ridden grandson of Josef Mengele is feverishly working in a Swiss laboratory, trying desperately to surgically reconstruct a face that bears no resemblance to the real biological father, Dawson Leery.
Fake!!!!!!!!!!!!
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