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Lindsay Lohan has something she doesn't want you to see

What? A mystery? Looks like it's time to jump into the mystery solving van and spring into action! Here's what's we've got so far thanks to the lovely and fertile Vera at imnotobsessed.com:

Lindsay Lohan just can't seem to stop partying - and, unluckily for her, word on the street is that someone may have recorded her revelry with a cellphone video camera. We can't divulge what Lohan was allegedly caught doing, but if true, it won't sit well with her younger fans.

Hmmm..now I'm not an 'investigator' per se, but after years of watching Murder She Wrote I think I've developed a bit of intuition in these types of circumstances and have come to the only logical conclusion: Lindsay Lohan has killed a drifter and ate his remains. It's the only thing at this point that she can do that would truly offend her fans.

Well, it's either that or it's a sex tape or her and Colonel Mustard. I can go either way.