Leonardo DiCaprio adopts, by mail
Ever since I helped liberate Baghdad with the Marine Corps while simultaneously working on a cancer-curing team of doctors, I've been looking for someone to do something even more charitable then I. Ladies and gents, courtesy of TMZ, I think we found it:
Following in Angelina's and Madonna's footsteps, Leonardo DiCaprio is jumping on the adopt-a-baby bandwagon. While in South Africa filming "Blood Diamond," according to the New York Post, he met a little girl that he "adopted." Unlike his predecessors, though, Leo won't be bringing home baby. He'll just be cutting a monthly check and checking in by phone.
Wait a second...'cutting a monthly cheque and checking in by phone'? That's not adoption, it sounds instead like that Russian mail-order bride I just picked out from the catalogue, I'm pretty pumped about it too! Apparently once her bank account hits $20k her and her lovely (and quite large) brother will be moving in with me. Of course I'm still confused to why they want to sleep together in a separate room...but what do I know....I'm not a commie.
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