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Mel Gibson's illegitimate daughter?

News of the World reports that a blonde 29-year old is taking Mel Gibson to court for a DNA test to prove she's his secret daughter. She says:

"I'm not doing it for his money. I just want to meet the man I've always known was my dad - and for him to get to know his grandson. I'd love it if he recognized us as family. I'm not looking for a meal ticket. I am happy with my life."

The 29-year old's mom was apparently a 17-year old hitchhiker that Mel boned in the bag of his station wagon. Seriously? Stuff like that does happen outside of porn? Then I guess it's time to trade in my bus pass for a wagon - hello ladies!

I guess what's on all our minds is; how is that raging drunk, Mel Gibson, going to blame this on the Jews? Because you know they are responsible for everything, the man could stumble upon a bunch of rainbows and puppies dancing and signing and his drunk ass would still yell at them to get off his lawn and apologize for killing Jesus.

Read more about Mel's love child here.