My pretty, pretty ladies...Pop Culture Pundit will be going on a bit of a hiatus. I'll be in the lovely country of Spain (which is Spanish for 'Land of the Speedos and Mustaches') for the next week traveling, eating, drinking and looking for Spanish celebrities like the Three Amigos or Bumble-Bee Man.
So over the next week my posts will be few if any as my laptop isn't coming with me (my bag will be too full of edible undies and baby oil). I promise my readers personal photos of me at the nude beaches in return for the lack of reading material - winning or losing proposition? You decide!
Have a great week! Wish you were all there (or do I?)!
Someone has got to teach this girl the art of the comeback. She just sat there and took David Letterman's abuse all last night. I mean, it's the kinda stuff you expect to see at Guantanamo Bay...if you replace the electric shocks to the genitals with heavy verbal abuse.
According to The Post Chronicle, Meg White of The White Stripes cancelled several shows recently sighting acute anxiety on the part of Meg White, and they are attributing that anxiety to a recently leaked sex tape.
The alleged Meg White Sex Tape has caused quite a stir. Meg White of The White Stripes, a band known for their raw low-fidelity sound, appears to have a sex tape blazing up bandwidth on the internet.
In the stills below, it sure does look like Meg but one cannot be 100% certain. And given the climate of fakes these days, one has to question the authenticity first.
On Sept 11, 2007 The White Stripes canceled their forthcoming engagements because Meg White was suffering from "acute anxiety".
We can't help but wonder if the anxiety is due to this sex tape that has splashed onto the web.
Is it her? You be the judge.
This is officially out of control, I feel like I'm the only person in the world without a sex tape. I mean, when Meg White has one I'm thinking of firing up the ol' VHS camcorder and make me a little digital lovin' - let's just hope people don't freak out because I'm doing it with my Carebear collection while wearing mittens and clown stickers....errr...I mean, doing it with tons of "sexy ladies".... Check out some stills from the video here.
"Dirty Sexy Money" will be premiered on ABC Thursday night, and it's just been revealed that one of the lead actresses is actually a....DUDE? TMZ says:
"Believe it or not, gorgeous New York singer/actress/performer (and Jennifer Flavin look-alike) Candis Cayne was born Brendan McDaniel. Candis plays Carmelita on the new ABC series.
Uh, "believe it or not"? I really don't think there is any question here - I think I'm more feminine that this 'woman.' I mean, I really don't get the whole mystery here, if you think she looks like a girl you're gayer then Andy Dick at a pride parade. And trust me, you don't want to meet Andy Dick at a pride parade.....
Ladies, let this be a lesson - when you get a tattoo it's going to stretch like silly putty once you get knocked up.
Case in point: Nicole Richie...I mean, look at her that tattoo at the bottom of her stomach - soon it's going to be big enough to qualify for Reader's Digest large-print best seller.
As you may or may not have noticed (99.9% chance you haven't - as the only people reading is my mom and Jews for Jesus...) I've avoided writing on Britney Spears for the past few days as I've been as sick of reading about her as much as you have, but this story is flat out too retarded to pass up. The AP is reporting:
Britney Spears was charged Friday with misdemeanor counts of hit and run and driving without a valid license after she allegedly smashed her car into another in a parking lot in August, prosecutors said.Three days after the accident, the owner of the other vehicle filed a police report, and investigators later determined that Spears does not have a license, officials said.
You have got to be kidding me - this chick parties loaded the night of pretty much losing her kids for drinking, drugs and being flat out irresponsible. But now we find out she's been driving her WHOLE LIFE without a license. I'm surprised she doesn't just show up at the D.A's office in a Darth Vadar mask screaming about eating her babies and burning kittens - because she's pretty much done everything else. I'm anticipating her suicide in a matter of weeks (unless Owen Wilson beats her to it), called it.
This is seriously insane. Brady Bunch's Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady) details her lesbian experiences with Jan (Eve Plumb) in her tell-all book which hits shelves in 2008. A source told The National Enquirer,
"The most explosive comments will be how the then-blonde, blue-eyed cutie developed a crush on Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play. This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual hijinks going on behind the scenes. It's bizarre because she played such a virginal character on the show."
Seriously, when I was watching these re-runs in the 90s I had no idea this whole series was pretty much a cover for porn. There was more ass being hit behind the scenes there then my last frat party...and by 'frat party' I mean 'sitting in front of the TV reading Tiger Beat magazine and eating nachos' but otherwise it's like the same thing.
And by "naked" I mean "photoshopped" for the latest ad from PETA. I really don't understand why vegetarians all get naked for these ads, I mean, the last time I got naked for a cause they kicked me out of the church bake sale. Double standards suck.
Dumb and rich Paris Hilton says that she wants to donate her used clothes and shoes to children's charities. She claims she has more clothes than she could ever possibly wear and sees no other solution. Paris says:
"I have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes, so I'm going to give a bunch of them to orphanages and children's hospitals. I never wear something twice."
Huh, because that what all poor little kids want, right? Billion dollar high heels and pearls as opposed to food and shelter. I tell you - sometimes you'd rather starve then get herpes from a pair of designer jeans.
Ho-hum, another celebrity sex tape is to be leaked. I'll be honest, these tapes are starting to become as arousing as going to my dirty uncle's house for Christmas dinner (and he's got some gentle hands, let me tell you). Geno's World reports:
Geno's World has learned that a porn tape involving Elisha Cuthbert is being shopped around. The tape obviously would end up in a legal battle, but the owner of the footage is attempting to set up a website to cash in quickly.
Damn! Elisha promised me that the video camera was definitely not on when we were having sex! Next thing you'll tell me if that the dude in the corner of the room smoking in his chair wasn't a hilarious novelty manikin after all or that sheep wasn't a clever inflatable prop! That is the last time I have a 12-hour sex romp with THAT girl! I feel so used...
Wow. The way Justin Timberlake slaps that paparazzi was pretty tough. I haven't see a slap like that since I ripped the heads off my baby sister's Barbie dolls and she came after me. Of course, that was at least 37% more manly of a slap (according to clinical independent research from the slap factory).
Looks like it's finally happening, Britney is losing her babies as early as tomorrow morning. In a nutshell: there is a 'secret witness' 'closed hearing' and a 'district attorney ' that wants to take her kids away.
It's about freaking time, it was getting to the point where she could pretty much burn her children on the steps of the courthouse and get away with it. Read more about the case here.
Man, not only would it suck to have a hot sister like Elizabeth Hurley but it's a 1,000 times worse when you look nothing like her. I mean, it looks like she was adopted from the local pound as opposed to coming from the same vagina as Elizabeth.
I bet people don't even believe it when she says they are related - it's kind of like when Brad Pitt used to try to pass us off as brothers, but I was just way too hot to make it remotely believable.
Oh God! I think I'd rather be in a dark alley with a serial killer and rabid tiger then even within 50 feet of this monster! What the hell happened to her, I mean, it's not like she was hot to begin with but she was never this heinous.
Somebody do her a favor and mix a little bit of bleach in with next dose of heroine.
I'm not usually one to exploit people who just attempted suicide, but I'm also not one to 'masquerade as doctor and feel up the elderly' but we all know how that one ended up - so let's just do this.
Here's a recent picture of Owen Wilson at the beach with his brother and 'sober companion.' But upon closer inspection you can check out a close up of Owen's scar here on his wrist. Sad, yes - news-worthy? You bet!
Us Weekly is reporting that the FOX is in secret negotiations with Britney Spears' people to get her on Sunday's Emmy Awards. Oh no....Not to perform - the source says "The idea is to have her come on and apologize for the VMAs. She's weighing the offer."
A source close to Britney sort of denies the story, saying" "I can't say this is 100 percent not true. All I can say is that the Emmy people aren't dealing with her record company, her manager or her agents at William Morris. So if she is doing anything for the Emmys then it's not going through the official channels."
When I initially heard that FOX was talking to Spears I assumed it was for a hotdog eating contest or perhaps a segment of 'Unsolved Mysteries' where they'll investigate where her hotness went.
The very classy Mischa Barton was seen at the Save the Children's 75th Anniversary Celebration in New York City last night with a see through top.
What the hell? When I do charity work and I flash the ol' frank and beans all of a sudden I'm legally labeled a 'sex offender' and a 'danger to children' - it's these double standards that keeps me from fulfilling my life dreams....you know, building a fort out of pillows and living happily ever after with Bea Arthur.
Sorry, I could be moving a bit quick here, first of all to clarify 'chesty' is a fancy name for 'boobies' and 'boobies' are pretty much just as cool as my Beanie Babies collection. Now that we're clear let's all look at more of Jessica here.
As if her performance at the VMA's wasn't bad enough, Britney went back to her suite at the Bellagio hotel last night and flashed the world her tuna taco while getting into her limo. Yep, the only way her day could get any worse is if she was caught making out with Hitler himself and eating babies. Check out the totally disgusting NSFW version here. But let me warn you - she's had two babies with rather large heads.
Did everyone catch the "Return of Britney Spears" last night on the VMA awards? The press sure has, here are some examples of their thoughts - The AP said:
As in most train wrecks, it was hard to focus on just one thing as the Britney Spears disaster unfolded. There was just so much that went wrong. Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears' once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.
The New York Post said:
...why was Britney Spears' totally lame, pathetically lip-synched VMA performance at the Palms Casino last night allowed to be seen by the rest of the world? Spears was stuffed into a spangled bra and hot pants and jiggled like Jell-O as she sleepwalked through the song. She didn't seem to care that she danced like she had a pantload, that her lips weren't synched with the song, and that the tune isn't all that great.
And the New York Daily News said:
Glassy-eyed and out of step, Britney seemed lost in a sea of pole dancers and overmuscled male models who groped her so much she wasn't even mouthing the words by the time her number ended. Cuts to the audience revealed fellow artists rolling their eyes. 50 Cent looked like he might have just thrown up in his mouth, and Rihanna was flat-out laughing to a table guest.
I really think these journalists are understating the true crapiness of this performance. I probably would have done a better dance routine...and I'm MISSING A LEG! It was terrible, the only saving grace of the whole performance is that it ended before Britney had her mustard and cocaine sandwich.
If you're not already aware that Tila Tequila is an internet phenomenon, you soon will. She has 2,009,560 friends on myspace (roughly 2,009,559 more then I do), is pretty hot and has a new show. It'll be a new dating show on MTV that will feature Tila with dudes AND ladies as possible suitors (that's right, I use terms like 'dudes' and 'ladies' to identify genders - it works well in my thriving medical practice.....errr....'back-alley abortion clinic'...but don't worry, we sterilize the coat hangers). Tila writes:
That's right everyone! I am soooo excited! This is what I have been keeping top secret for soooo long! My new reality show on MTV will be like NO OTHER SHOW ON TELEVISION HISTORY! ...the show will be about me finding love as a BISEXUAL!!!!! THAT IS CRAZY RIGHT?
So on my new reality show there will be 16 male contestants and 16 female contestants all fighting for my love....GUYS AGAINST GIRLS....WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END??????
I love chicks that use heavy punctuation and all-caps. It just screams 'high intelligence' - either that or 'clinical retardation.' Either way, I'm good - I mean, she's Asian and bisexual, right?
Well, if you didn't believe me that these pics where true, Vanessa Hudgens has just released this formal statement:
"I want to apologize to my fans, whose support and trust means the world to me. I am embarrassed over this situation and regret having ever taken these photos. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends."
Question: what the hell is she apologizing for? Women who take naked photos of themselves should be given the Purple Heart...or at least Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy. You know, same thing...U-S-A! U-S-A!!
High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens is involved in a tad of a pickle. Seductive, sensual, scandalous, screffic (ran out of s-words) and NUDE pictures she took for her bf (and co-star) Zac Efron were all over the internet yesterday. And now we have confirmation that those pictures are real. A rep for Hudgens said:
"This was a photo which was taken privately. It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public."
Wow. This girl doesn't even look old enough to ride a bike without training wheels (that is assuming most people are like me and used them until their 25th birthday...) which constitutes these as damn creepy! However, if you'd like to see more check out the pics here, here and here.
Update #1: here's the pic that started all the controversy. It's totally not safe for work, click at your own risk.
Um...now I'm not a 'doctor' or even 'sexy to the homeless', but are nipples supposed to be this big? I mean, it looks like she's got pink silver dollars made of skin under her shirt, it's freaking disgusting! Wouldn't she want to hide those under a nice wool turtleneck or a fire-retardant suit?
Fun fact: pink skin silver dollars are legal tender in Spain.
When did this happen? Is Jessica bulking up for a new role? Or are steroids the new drug for young Hollywood?
Either way, the only person I know with muscles bigger then that is me - but then again, it's tough to 'out-massive' Mr.Olympia 2000-2007...errr....well to be honest my title is 'Mr. Special Olympia'....but let's not underestimate my achievement, I mean those retards can sure get huge!
That headline just wrote itself...honest, I mean I just sat here and looked at my keyboard and the words just appeared on the freaking screen! It's amazing...like KITT or something!
Speaking of KITT, Luciano Pavarotti has died this morning of pancreatic cancer at the age of 71. Well loved for such hits as 'Wake me up before you go-go' and 'Other made-up songs because I'm too lazy to do my research.'
Following endless gossip and rumors, Halle Berry has officially confirmed yesterday that she is three months pregnant with her first child. Berry, 41, and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry, 32 have dated for about a year and a half. People.com says:
"Yes, I am three months pregnant," the Oscar winner told Access Hollywood on Tuesday. "Gabriel and I are beyond excited and I've waited a long time for this moment in my life."Berry, 41, and her boyfriend, 32-year-old model Gabriel Aubry, met shooting a Versace ad in Los Angeles in November 2005 and first stepped out publicly three months later at the February opening of a Versace boutique in New York City.
You've got to be kidding me. Halle Berry used to be one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood - now she's nothing more then another fat pregnant emotional mess. If I want to see that I'll just head over to the diaper aisle at my local Wal-Mart. Kind of makes me happy I broke up with her...that is if by 'break up' you mean 'arrested for breaking into her home and drinking her dirty bath water.'
Yeah, so I've taken a few days off and left town for Labour Day. And I'll admit, I missed a lot of fun gossip, but let's be honest - if I did post anything it would probably just been drunken gibberish about me with giant fists fighting alien invaders and marrying Angelina Jolie and her twin sister.
Although to be fair, I did miss this gem - Eva Longoria in Spain wearing a bikini. Pretty hot if you ask me, that is, if by 'pretty hot' I mean 'you're into what's essentially nothing more then the female, white Webster.' Think about it.
Have you seen Ashton lately? With those capris and the hummingbird shirt, he looks a few steps away from joining the Jane Austin book club and talking to a group of teenage girls about that 'not so fresh feeling.'
Got some time to kill? POP CULTURE PUNDIT is the latest gossip and news about your favorite celebs. We are a site whose purpose is to make fun of rich people while spreading rumors and speculation in addition to reported facts. We make no warranty as to the validity of any claims. Want to know more? Contact me.
Got a celebrity gossip site? A movie site? An animal sex site...errr...scratch that last one. You can email me at popculturepundit@hotmail.com for a link swap if your site meets the high, high standards and criteria only found at POP CULTURE PUNDIT. Look forward to hearing from you!
