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Owen Wilson deathwatch update

Exclusive! New! Suicide-riffic!

I've taken precious time out of watching the Hills (p.s. I'm way hotter then Spencer - and that bitched clapped his hands for some reason when he meets Heidi's folk..gay!) to report additional details about the shocking suicide attempt of Owen Wilson. Word is getting out that Wilson cut BOTH wrists and took a MAJOR amount of pills. He was discovered by a family member who called for help and apparently his situation was dire when he was discovered.

Police and an ambulance responded to a 911 call from Owen's house around noon on Sunday. He's still in the hospital and doing pretty good.

I'll admit I'm being a tad obtuse, but I'm just saying this guy is acting like a sad 14 year old girl. A girl with sparkles and macaroni on her diary, listening to the Cure and slashing her wrists when she can't find a date to the prom. This man is dating quality babes, he's got a tons of cash and guys want to be him. No sympathy here. Updates coming soon.

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