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Salma Hayek is pregnant


Star Magazine is reporting that Chubs Hayek is now pregnant! She and her fiance, businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, are expecting their first child.


Judging by her size she seems to be pregnant with a whale or at least twelve regular sized babies. I'm going to have to get a look at this 'Francois' guy I bet he's got a hook for a hand and says 'YARRRRRRRR!!!' a lot and impregnates women with his whale-sperm. It's the only medical explanation, and I know a lot about medicine because I'm a doctor, specializing in whale-babies and toilet training.