Tom 'Jesus' Cruise is coming out of the closet
Am I crazy? Do I want an army of Scientologists at my door? Does the refrigerator box I live in even have a door? Do I pay top dollar to have hookers tickle my bum with gerbils? So many questions, so few answers. But since the story broke last week that Tom is seen as 'Jesus' in the Scientology community I've been thinking that this guy is really finally starting to bug the hell out of me. Jesus Cruise is an out of control egomaniac who digs other dudes, needs to chill, and accept who he really is. Why? Two reasons:
Wait, haven't we all made out with men at parties? What? No?? ...err....um... right, neither have I. Come out of the closet Jesus Cruise! We're all waiting.
1. This site is not purely satire, but also a window in Jesus Cruise's soul. Well not 'his soul' per se, but I DID see the special features on the Risky Business DVD I rented from Blockbuster and if that isn't the same as peering into the mind of a closeted gay actor, I don't know what is.
2. Secondly; a certain B-list Canadian actress. After drinks in Montreal with her and an A-list bf (at the time) she told a few stories regarding how Tom's homosexuality is the worst kept secret in certain Hollywood circles. Offering more proof, she mentioned that she was at a industry party and saw Cruise making out with a man in the corner of the room - and no one even flinched, it's just accepted with Tom.
Wait, haven't we all made out with men at parties? What? No?? ...err....um... right, neither have I. Come out of the closet Jesus Cruise! We're all waiting.
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