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Official statement on Lindsay Lohan's alcoholism

Friday afternoon Lindsay Lohan's publicist released the following statement:

"Yes, she's been attending some [Alcoholics Anonymous] meetings, and it's going to be a slow process. This is a positive period. Let's hope that the press doesn't turn it into a negative. Maybe if (the press) backs off on her she'll be in a good space. Let's see if we don't have to hear about it every day, and they're following her and trying to find her. Because that will just really not be good."

Shortly thereafter I released a statement of my own:

"Stinky turds!!! Stinky turds!!! Stinky TURDS!!"

Do these stories relate? No. But I sure hope that when Lindsay sobers up she's just as easy.