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Jay-Z and Beyonce to get hitched

According to Page Six, Beyonce and Jay-Z will be getting married this weekend under the guise of a 'birthday party':

"Beyonce is throwing Jay a four-day birthday party, but it's really a wedding," says one source. Guests were told to have their passports ready by Friday for a party on a yacht in St. Barts. But then attendees will go to Anguilla for the wedding at tony resort Cap Juluca. No word from the rap mogul or the pop princess on their plans.

If I had a nickel for everytime someone threw me a birthday party then ended up turning into my wedding I'd be a billionaire. A billionaire and the unhappiest man in the world, well actually second unhappiest man in the world, the first is the guy in my building who had a heart attack wearing panties and a training bra in the middle of the hallway, only to be revived and eaten by a large grizzly bear. Think about it, that would suck.