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The new man in Elisha Cuthbert's life...

...is going to be me. I know everyone tells me that sending a letter a day is not healthy and it'll just scare her off, but I tell them that I know better then to send one LETTER everyday. That's crazy talk. To really get a girl's attention you need to fire on all canons..send hourly faxes, text messages, emails, a dozen roses and of course a blood sample to prove to her I've been STD free for at least 30 days (ok...maybe 10 tops, but at least the rash is gone...errr..."gone-ish").

Yes ladies, when it comes to romance I know that all it takes is persistance, money and a willingness to hide in a girl's closet for days and days on end to prove your love. And if that scares her, well she's the weird one that just can't seem to truly appreciate romantic gestures.

Either that or I just wrote all this crap so I could put up this hot picture of Elisha Cuthbert. See more here.