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Nicole Gets Married; In Related News, Tom Cruise Still Gay

Congratulations Nicole! It's nice to see Nicole wearing the puffy sleeves this time and not Tom. I wonder how her life will now change that she's married to a straight man and not one who will prance around in her costumes from Moulin Rouge? Not to mention, unlike Tom, Keith doesn't need to shop at Gap Kids to find a good fit.

Look at her though; she looks like a deranged china doll. Her face is so shiny too! It's like me after I have a sauna while eating a grease sandwich while signing show tunes from the Broadway musical Grease! Cut down on that shine Nicole, I hear a nice Primrose Oil could help...because it's starting to look like I could fry up a whole chicken on your face alone.

In any event- way to marry a straight man this time! Read more about it here.