POP CULTURE PUNDIT - The Latest Gossip and News About Your Favorite Celebs

David Beckham and Posh Spice Used to be Ugly

See that picture to your right? Guess who that is....

David and Victoria Beckham! Yes it's them, pre-plastic surgery, pre-multi billions, pre-total make over. They look like a regular couple. Two 'white-trash turds looking for a bulk deal on Hamburger Helper-type' couple.

It's amazing what a little bit of money can do. I mean just this weekend I met a lovely young lady at a local watering hole. I spend the entire evening paying for a whole bunch of her drinks - then by the end of the soiree she actually thought I was the hottest man on the planet! See what I mean? Money makes you hot, not athletic skill. If pure athleticism gets chicks why didn't I get more girls when I was Pee-Wee baseball team player of the year? Sure I was only 8 years old and had a rat-tail - but please, you should have seen the trophy!

So my advice to any future David Beckhams out there: make a poop-load of money and instead of blowing it all on plastic surgery and clothes, just get girls drunk, and I mean 'pee on the house plants, yell on the cell phone, google ex-boyfriends' drunk! I could gain 25 pounds and contract oral herpes and this plan is still win-win!

Someday you'll thank me for this.