David Beckham and Posh Spice Used to be Ugly
See that picture to your right? Guess who that is....
David and Victoria Beckham! Yes it's them, pre-plastic surgery, pre-multi billions, pre-total make over. They look like a regular couple. Two 'white-trash turds looking for a bulk deal on Hamburger Helper-type' couple.
It's amazing what a little bit of money can do. I mean just this weekend I met a lovely young lady at a local watering hole. I spend the entire evening paying for a whole bunch of her drinks - then by the end of the soiree she actually thought I was the hottest man on the planet! See what I mean? Money makes you hot, not athletic skill. If pure athleticism gets chicks why didn't I get more girls when I was Pee-Wee baseball team player of the year? Sure I was only 8 years old and had a rat-tail - but please, you should have seen the trophy!
So my advice to any future David Beckhams out there: make a poop-load of money and instead of blowing it all on plastic surgery and clothes, just get girls drunk, and I mean 'pee on the house plants, yell on the cell phone, google ex-boyfriends' drunk! I could gain 25 pounds and contract oral herpes and this plan is still win-win!
Someday you'll thank me for this.
1 Comments:
They're STILL ugly.
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